Mind is mush, need to squeeze it more

I am blogging right now because my brain is mush from writing this story for a big project I'm working on. Thinking of what I can say about it but so far everything about this project is (i was told) secret. It's not that big a deal, it's my idea and we're doing a bunch of diff media based routes for it. Once we get our grant, I could very well be working full tilt with my new team as early as next week. I am so excited but at the same time I am also stressed out and tired. I have been cramming my brain for the story for so long now and it's just getting to me. When people require you to squeeze out every bit of your creativity it can be very challenging but obviously i still do it because it is still fun. If it was all bad i would have dropped it or not even said let's do it in the first place. This is the chance I've been working hard for for about 10 years now and I am finally given the opportunity to tell the world my kind of stories. The goal is to get my team full time and also start cooking up the next few projects before we run out of money (there's always that problem). Before I would be so giddy with excitement and always full of hope, but since I've been through the same old story I am not as worked up as i used to be. I am hopeful but i just focus on getting my work as best as i can because if i'm not i could lose the chance again.  If i lose it, it would be my 4th attempt and that would be it for me, i dunno if i could recover from that. The stress of the entertainment business is so tough it can bring down tough people for sure.

I just felt like typing whatever i wanted instead of the storyline for the project lol.  When i'm all settled again at the studio i will start finishing off more art pieces. This Saturday i will be doing a seminar for parents and technology, for any parent that needs to be in the know.  On Sunday I will be doing a fundraiser for sick kids hospital, doing drawings and shtuff.  Everything is so hectic right now and I'm so tired, i can't possibly burn out when my big break is just about to start.

To anyone that has a goal that is more ambitious than their friends they are with, i want to say this. Never forget your main goal, always keep a focus.  When people tell you to get into something because there's money in it, say no.  There's money in everything, it doesn't mean it's easy. Everything that I do is a step closer to my goal.  I will tell you my goal, my dream, an Academy Award.  It seems insane, but i would love to have an Award for best Director. I've actually dreamed it since i was in grade 8, i just loved movies and how prestigious to be respected by so many amazing people.  Maybe one day i will be able to do one film and it will be my best work yet.

Since i'm here just sharing like crazy lol, I've been doing some research on my heritage in the Philippines. I have been long fascinated with the Martial Law that happened when i was a little boy in the Philippines. Also the story of my dad who was a communications person for the rebels, during the martial law.  I've started searching for books about Ninoy and the Martial Law. So my dream was one day tell the story of my dad and his heroic acts with his friends in that time.  I will be making it in English because most Filipinos that lived through it would rather forget about it and in order for this history to be remembered, the whole world needs to see it.  So the film is meant for the world to watch not just for Filipinos.

Okay I think i've blabbered on too much lol I have a few images i got ready for next time, Peace and Love everyone!


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